Hubby and I carpool to work since we work down the street from each other. One of the advantages to this is that each of us only has to drive one-way, and the other advantage is that we can count hookers on the drive.
When we bought our house (after signing the paperwork), Shane started complaining about how long the drive was… and it is a long drive. The morning commute takes about 45-50 minutes and the evening commute stretches out to 1 hr 15 mins. So I told him I would drive both ways. Believe it or not, that actually lasted for over a year before I got sick of doing all the driving. Now I drive in the mornings (while he sleeps) and he drives on the way home (while I complain about my coworker and how mean and nasty she is).
I’m sure you aren’t reading this to hear me talk about our driving. You really are wanting to hear about the hookers, aren’t you? Thought so! Perv!
Well — my blogging philosophy is to give the people what they want. If it’s hookers you want, then it’s hookers you will get. Not literally. If you literally want hookers then you will need to travel to the land I’m about to tell you of. The land of Nebraska Avenue.
The first stop on our journey: Todd Couples Superstore. I don’t suggest going to that link if you’re reading this at work or around small children. It is “that” kind of store. I remember being in the car with my parents driving down Nebraska Ave and hearing Mom talk about how, “Any place where you have to park in the back and go in a rear entrance because you’re afraid someone will see you going in is exactly the kind of place you don’t need to be going in anyways.” Those are good words of wisdom. Needless to say, I have never been in there. I’m sure it isn’t quite as bad as Mom made it out to be, because from her descriptions, in my mind, people were having sex right in the middle of the store…
The next stop(s): Motels. You know it’s bad when Urban Dictionary defines it best, “Small convenient stop off point generally found just off highway exits. Sometimes stayed at after a long drive or after picking up that STD infested hottie on the street corner for a quickie.”
And between stop #1 and stop #2 are the hookers. Some people play the Alphabet game during car trips; others play I Spy. We play Count the Hookers. Who can spot the most prostitutes? It sounds like a fun game, right? Today we only saw one, and she was walking down the street in a mesh shirt, dangling her purse off her finger, and smoking a cigarette. It was a slow morning.
At the same corner was a small patch of grass with a little bird hopping through it. Happy as a lark and ignorant of its surroundings. So walk on, happy little bird. Enjoy your life even if it isn’t as pretty as it could be.
If you do happy to be driving down Nebraska Avenue in Tampa, please consider stopping/donating to the Society of St. Vincent de Paul. A list of some of their specifically needed items can be found here. They are close to the heart of my family and do a lot of good for a lot of people.